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You dont marry your best friend

mmmmm the crowd says.

Women: does your husband sit there for hours listening to you every day, pore over every detail?
nooooo your best friend does that.

Men: does your wife kick the footy with you, laugh at your fart jokes, be your friend even if you have not seen for for 6 months?
nooooo your best friend does that

Marriage is a sacred covenant between two people who love each other as eros and companionship love. It is a beautiful partnership.

But I dont buy that corny line, "I married my best friend'.
Marriage is far more than that.
The two become one.
Two different people, with perhaps vastly different likes, interests, get together and share life together.

I am not saying you are not friends....but if you are married, you are lovers....joint homemakers together, its different to being best friends.

(Some thoughts as I prepare my message for this Sunday on failure in marriage)

7 comments:

  Wayne Field

3:25 pm

I have a conversation happening on my facebook page regarding the right to be happy versus the right to keep a vow in marriage. It's an incredibly touchy issue for some. Sometimes we swallow these stupid ideas without even thinking through the consequences. You're right Mark, marriage is so much more than friendship. Hope it goes well.

  Geoff Matheson

7:59 am

Mmmm, I think I'd disagree for myself, but only because I'd disagree on the definition of "best friend". I certainly don't want Bec to laugh at my fart jokes or kick the footy, but I do want her to be the person who understands me the best, and to understand her the best. And that's a lot closer to how I'd define best friend.

But I agree with the gist of your comment

  Lance Mac

11:13 am

Even though I am married to my best friend, I kind of see your point. There is a difference between a spouse and a mate, between knowing my wife and listening to a friend. Are you proposing that our unrealistic expectations of friendship between a husband and wife is one of the major reasons for divorce? I am intrigued. I look forward to hearing your sermon when it's posted.

  Sarah

11:29 am

Yeah good post, Mark. I was having a long, long conversation with one of my best female friends last week and I was thinking that if that conversation had been with Duncan, he would have changed the topic long ago. But Duncan is still my best male friend as well as my husband.

However, I would definitely kick the footy with him and laugh at his fart jokes (I laugh more at fart jokes than he does). I'm such a good wife :)

  jackveronic

4:31 pm

好的部落格,希望您能繼續堅持!!!..................................................

  bek

7:17 pm

I disagree. I think if we only label our marriage as best friends than that can be wrong, but I truly believe that Russell is my best friend and he has also said the same of me. There is no-one else that we would rather spend time with or talk to. I communicate with no-one better than my husband.
I think where some marriages go wrong is when there is NO friendship no connection on that level. I know of too many marriages where there is no real desire for either party to enjoy each others company, let alone develop better communication skills.

Id much rather be able to communicate with my husband, and vice versa than feel that I can tell my best (female) friend everything.
It may sound cheesy and cliche to say youve married your best friend. It is one of the important elements to marriage. Not the only, but it definately plays a role.
In my opinion anyway ;)

  Sarah

11:40 am

I still tell Duncan everything. There's nothing I would share with a female friend that I wouldn't share with him, and there are things we share between ourselves that I would NEVER share with anyone...not even a close female friend.

But there have been times where I've been trying to explain things to Duncan and he just doesn't get it whereas a female friend understands perfectly. The male/female differences do come into play with communication, I've found.

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